These Hands, Stubborn into Death
by mistpool32132
Summary: Muttsuri gains headache problems and "hand" problems when she wakes up in a new world. But she gains the ability to stalk certain people for their eyes and hug a sunshine boy to her heart's content, so she counts herself lucky. Uchiha clan, watch out.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome! This is my first fanfiction and first time using this website to post a story, so please bear with any typos or formatting errors and point them out if you're feeling helpful!**

 **I do not own _Naruto._ I only call dibs on the premise of this particular story and any OC's I make. **

* * *

When she wakes up again–

… _again_?

When she wakes up again she is looking at a tree through a window. It looks like it's summer outside.

… _wa_ _sn't it winter_?

Her head hurts when she thinks that, so she discards the thought and looks around her. The room is white on white, white floors and walls, and there is a white chair in the corner behind the door to her left. She is sitting propped up in a bed with white sheets and white pillows. In her lap her hands–

She runs into a mental block. There is something very very wrong where her hands should be. She gets a throbbing ache in her head, then her mind goes blank and dark.

* * *

When she wakes up a second time, and this time she knows for sure it is _again_ and her head doesn't ache at the thought, the tree outside the window is bare of leaves. Her head is a little hazy, the thoughts aren't quite coming in the order they should and everything feels off. She concentrates on slow breathing as she stares at the tree and the little bit of sky beyond it, trying to sort out her head. It doesn't really work, but she does get a better handle on it. She remembers her "hands".

She decides to not deal with that right now.

A rustle of fabric brings her attention back inside the room, and she sees that this time there is a woman sitting in the white chair, with some kind of pointed-end pole-arm leaning against the wall next to her. The woman is watching her.

She clears her throat, wanting to ask the woman anything, something, where she is, what's happened, and why does her head hurt when she thinks about any of that, but she only manages to make a broken and grating mewling kind of sound.

The women's eyes widen a little bit, and she stands up, coming closer and saying something that she can't understand. It sounds like it might be Japanese. She winces at this thought, eyes squeezing shut momentarily before she opens them again, looking at the woman at the side of her bed.

"Muttsuri?" The woman says. "Muttsuri." The woman says again, more firmly. Maybe that's her name? But wasn't her name-

 _Ow ow ow, oh wow that hurts_.

The woman calling her Muttsuri bends down so that they are eye level. She is quiet as she looks into Possibly Muttsuri's eyes, seeming to search for something. Whatever it is the woman seems to find it, for she nods and presses a button on the wall, then retreats back to her seat and weapon.

Who in the world brings a weapon into a hospital anyway? She's guessing that's where she is, anyways. Shouldn't there be regulations against that kind of thing?

They sit staring at each other for a couple minutes, and Possibly Muttsuri begins to feel very awkward, but can't think of anything to do so just pretends it's a staring contest. She starts making funny faces at the woman, who just frowns at her.

A harried looking lady in a nurse outfit opens the door and gasps when she sees Possibly Muttsuri–you know what she's calling herself Muttsuri until told otherwise–looking back at her. The nurse looks with wide eyes at the pole-arm lady, who gives a slight nod. The nurse claps her hands and smiles, looking back to Muttsuri, saying a string of more words Muttsuri can't understand peppered with multiple _Muttsuri-chan_ 's. The nurse raises the pitch of her voice, as one does when talking to a child.

You know what, now that there's a nurse here Muttsuri would really like to know what's going on with her hands. What the heck.

She raises what's at the end of her arms at the nurse and puts her best _what the heck_ look on her face, "eh?"

The nurse pauses with a perplexed look, then looks at the pole-arm lady. The woman shrugs, fingering her weapon.

Muttsuri wiggles her appendage at the nurse. The nurse looks to the woman again, says something, then leaves the room. Muttsuri sighs. Hopefully the nurse is going to get a doctor or a translator or something helpful. The woman in the corner mutters something to herself. Muttsuri takes the pause in action to stare at her hands, looking now that her head isn't punishing her for it.

Her arms end in a joined mass of flesh, vaguely rectangular in form. Lumps that could be finger bones stand out against the mass, and are positioned more or less how one would expect fingers to be arranged. There's space in-between where one "hand" lump section ends and the next starts, and in between is more stretched skin that's less lumpy than the rest. Some wires and things are attached to her elbow, but it's the standard hospital stuff. There's an extra wire connecting to her "hands".

It kind of looks like Muttsuri is gripping something that grew flesh over her hands. Or maybe her flesh grew over something she was holding? Either way, it looks ghastly, with veins pulsing wetly through slightly translucent skin and she wishes she could just fling it away from her. It's so disgusting she's tempted to hyperventilate. She may be hyperventilating anyway. She focuses on breathing again, ignoring her hands.

 _In, and out. There is nothing wrong here, you are not dying. You are not in pain. You are not uncomfortable. Well, actually_ – her arms from the tips of her fingers to her collarbones are twanging and ache a little– _but it's not too horrible. It's okay_.

 _Breathe._

The door opens, and the nurse returns, accompanied by two men. One's blind– _why would you bring a blind guy Miss Nurse Lady_ – and kind of gorgeous, and the other is clearly a doctor. The pretty man turns to the woman in the chair and they start talking quietly while the doctor approaches Muttsuri. He takes out a pen flashlight and proceeds to do the doctorly thing to do, flashing it in her eyes and moving it back and forth. Muttsuri follows the light with her eyes. He clicks it off and calls the other man over.

Mr. Fabulous and Maybe Not Blind comes over without any hesitation and doesn't bump into the bed or anything, so Muttsuri guesses maybe he's not so blind. His eyes just don't have pupils? _Wonder if that hurts_.

Mr. Sculpted Face does something funny with his hands and then abruptly staggers back, a hand going to his head."N-Nani?!" He says. Oh wow that's just like that one Internet meme– Muttsuri tucks her head into her arms when it punishes her for thinking about memes. She doesn't blame her head. _Memes_. At a time like this.

The doctor grabs the pretty one's shoulder and they have a hurried conversation. Mr. Beautiful Even with His Bleeding Nose– _oh no is he okay?!_ –straightens up, does the thing with his hands again, grabs either side of Muttsuri's head, and stares into her eyes, even as his nose starts bleeding more furiously. Muttsuri begins to panic, making little croaking sounds because that's the maximum she can do right now and looking back and forth between the doctor and the other man, trying to get him to help.

Suddenly she feels a brush on her mind and she looks back to the man holding her head, feeling like there's a connection, like he can understand her or something, before it breaks and his eyes roll up into his head and he slumps onto her bed.

Muttsuri lets out a startled croak, her hand mass thing is pinned under his body and she can't do a thing to lift him off her and this is very uncomfortable. But then the woman is there and dragging the man off and the doctor is checking him. Muttsuri curls her legs up to her chest and squeezes them with her arms.

The woman is standing off to the side and watching her again.

Muttsuri feels very alone and confused.

The two men eventually leave under the watchful gaze of the pole-arm lady. _Is that a glaive? Ow_. Her head hurts again. She decides it is a glaive though.

The doctor comes back with another very pretty person, this time a lady that looks like she could be the first one's relative. She's got the same light blond hair and eyes without the pupils. She proceeds to do the same hand thing as the first, gets a bloody nose, and then leaves too. Thankfully she doesn't fall onto Muttsuri like Pretty Number One did.

Before she goes she and the doctor talk for a bit. She says something that sounds like "kekkei-genkai" with a shrug and the doctor hesitantly nods his head.

 _Hah, nerds. Who talks about anime–ow– on the job? Maybe they're die-hard fans?_

Glaive Lady watches them and Muttsuri the whole time. Her eyes are dark and she's frowning at everything.

Muttsuri very much wants to go home – _ow_.

Thoughts of home are the only comfort she has right now, even though it oddly hurts her head to think about, and she really wants comfort right now. She stubbornly dwells on them despite the headache. She recalls being frequently called _stubborn into death_ when she lived in the yellow house on the hill, and she smiles a little as she thinks about that sunshine place as the world goes dark around her again.

* * *

Muttsuri wakes up from a dream world of green grass and blue sky and comfort to find herself looking out at the tree again. It's weird to wake up with her eyes already open, but maybe that's related to why she's in the hospital.

It's a nice tree. Looks like it's beginning to bud in anticipation of spring. _Huh. Missed winter then_. Muttsuri waits for the pain at the thought, but surprisingly her head doesn't have a problem with it this time.

She tries again. _Winter, winter, winter. Snow on the ground, ice in the trees, and melting water dripping off leaves...? Nope, nothing_.

The woman is looking at her again from her seat in the corner. She has a small desk now, which has a bunch of papers scattered over it and a glass and pitcher of water off to the side. She says something with a "Muttsuri-sama" thrown in, still looking at her. _Uhm?_ Muttsuri is pretty sure she's no one's _-sama_. Is she? She tries to remember, but her headache comes back tells her no she may not remember, and she lets it go.

The woman gets up with a glass of water in her hand, leaving the papers and glaive behind. She brings the cup to Muttsuri's lips and says something more. Muttsuri takes a drink and gets a nod from the woman.

The woman retreats to her desk, exchanges the cup for a binder and the chair, and sits next to Muttsuri's bed with the binder in her hands. She reads from it a moment, then looks into Muttsuri's eyes. "Muttsuri," the woman says slowly, pointing at her. "Nagi," she continues, pointing to herself this time.

"Ah!" Muttsuri nods and tries to point to herself to do the same. She's reminded of her hands. So she nods again, taps herself on the shoulder with her chin, "Muttsuri," she says to the woman. "Nagi," she gestures with her chin at the woman. Nagi.

Nagi nods solemnly, and taps a button on the wall.

A nurse comes in and Nagi says something to her. The nurse frowns but then smiles with a shrug, then does the same thing as Nagi, pointing to herself saying, "Iko-san." Muttsuri responds the same way as with Nagi, chin-pointing and all.

Iko says something to her, then pantomimes Muttsuri getting up and walking around.

"Ah!" Muttsuri nods furiously, then Iko helps Muttsuri get out of bed and stagger around a little, carefully keeping the wires and tubes out of her way. Muttsuri stubbornly ignores how weird she feels to be so much shorter than the nurse, and how small and skinny her legs look. Her whole body just feels closer and wrong than she's used to. She makes a rule to ignore her hands as much as possible.

Her body soon tires and Iko puts her back into bed.

Weeks pass much the same, Nagi talks with her for a bit whenever she wakes up (which gradually grows from mostly pantomime into full on language lessons) then Iko comes in and gives Muttsuri what must be physical therapy. And– _ahem_ –help her use the facilities, though gradually Nagi takes over that duty.

Muttsuri is a little out of it the whole time, having slight blackouts and not being able to concentrate on much. Trying to form opinions on her surroundings or plans of any kind are beyond her.

By the time she and Nagi have progressed to simple conversations, "Are you thirsty," "No," "Are you tired," "Yes," the nurse has moved therapy to a gym-like area with weights and things to help Muttsuri gain some strength into her legs. When Muttsuri asks to go outside the nurse smiles apologetically and shakes her head no.

They improvise some exercises for Muttsuri's arms and she hates them, they make her dwell on her deformity and make her arms hurt, but she does them anyway. She doesn't want the nurse or Nagi to be disappointed in her. That much she does have an opinion on by now.

There is one conversation in her language lessons with Nagi that sticks out.

"When we go home?" Muttsuri asks. She is now able to understand a lot of the language, but forming strings of words herself is still pretty challenging.

"Home? I suppose eventually we will move out and find an apartment when you are well enough," Nagi shrugs.

"But what about home? Yellow house on hill, green fields all around?" She remembers something else, "And pine tree out front?"

Nagi pauses and turns to be fully facing her from her spot at the desk. "Muttsuri-sama, I am sorry, but there is no such place. You've only lived in this hospital and one other, never a house on a hill. This place is as much your home as anywhere else."

"What? But," Muttsuri bites her lip, "but I _remember_ …"

"Muttsuri-sama," Nagi says, a note in her voice that's almost sad, "Muttsuri-sama, I am sorry if you find my answer unpleasing, but you do not have any memories of any houses. You have only begun to wake up in the past year, and before that lay asleep for many years after you were born. You were not awake to ever see such a place."

"B-but!" Muttsuri feels close to tears. Not real? She can't lose that place to not being real. It's one of the only things familiar to her, and she doesn't want to lose it for being a fake.

Nagi regards her with her dark eyes a moment and then says, "If you would excuse me a moment, Muttsuri-sama."

When Muttsuri gives a distracted nod and rubs her face on her shoulder, trying to get ahold of herself, Nagi gets up and leaves the room. She returns not a long minute later, straps her glaive to her back, and scoops Muttsuri up, who gives a squawk of alarm. So far Nagi hasn't really touched her, never given her a hug or a pat on the shoulder, and it's sudden.

"I have been given permission to take you to the roof. You should have already been brought outside, but the doctors were unsure how your condition would allow you to take it and were hesitant. I have… assured them I will bring you inside as soon as you begin to feel uncomfortable, so please tell me if you do, Muttsuri-sama," Nagi says with a glance, opening the door and walking down the hallway. She continues up the stairs that Muttsuri is still having trouble with at the end of the hallway and out the door at the top.

Muttsuri giggles happily and would have clapped her hands if she had them. She can feel the sun for the first time in forever and there's laundry drying in the sun, making the rooftop seem like a white magical fairyland and making the air smell like clean, honest laundry. It reminds her of the house on the hill, where someone always left laundry on the lines to smell like the sun, and the house smelled like clean summer even into the heart of winter.

She's reminded that that all may not actually be real.

Nagi is watching her reaction, and when she doesn't show obvious signs of discomfort, only smiles, Nagi strides through the hanging linens and to the edge of the rooftop.

Muttsuri gasps at the splay of what must be a city spread before her. The roofs of the buildings are clad in metal in the same handful of colors, and little people scurry about their business between them. Everything is so colorful and lively that it almost _hurts_ after the somber white of the hospital and Muttsuri almost desperately drinks it all in.

Nagi looks down at her.

"Muttsuri-sama, this is the place where you have lived for the past five years. There are no houses on hills or fields on this side of the walls, and none for a long way outside of them. Please believe me when I tell you that there is no such place. We may one day find one if that is your wish and the master's, but until then there is none."

Muttsrui feels crestfallen, and her eyes drift down to her lap, but not before something catches her eye.

Startled, she looks up and stares at the mountain with the heads on it in the distance. _Oh_ , she thinks. Her head is tearing itself apart and images are flashing past her eyes and her ears are pounding with a pressure from without or within as the world gets dark around her again. _I see. Funny,_ she thinks as she remembers all the other stories where people saw that mountain and realized.

* * *

 **I'll give you three guesses of what her "hands" are holding, and the first two don't count. ;D**

 **Please tell me what you think! Is the tone of voice okay? Have I peppered this chapter with too many commas? (That's my writing kryptonite, I swear) Are you intrigued? Bored? Wanting to meet some actual _Naruto_ characters? **

**If there is anyone willing to let me pester them with _Naruto_ and Fanfiction posting questions, please PM me! Hopefully I can figure out how to PM. My knowledge of the story and the site is incomplete and I would dearly like to have someone I could pester with my ineptitude. Or someones!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello and welcome back! Thank you so much to SSSRHA for the review and PM guidance (you saved me!) and Wolffox101 for the review and encouragement about commas! Glad to know there are people out there with the same comma addiction. ;D**

 **Underlined words, if not used for emphasis, are hereby English words or words pronounced with an English accent instead of Japanese. For example, if Muttsuri says, "I like to eat french fries," the words "french fries" are in English, while the rest is in Japanese. Or at least, the basically Japanese that the _Naruto_ world uses in my head.**

 **I do not own the story of _Naruto_ , though I lay claim to typing up this particular aped fanfiction of it.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Muttsuri remembers. She remembers bits of a story about heroes and exciting battles and sadness and friendship and smiling despite it all, and she aches to realize that that story is _here_ , and wherever she was with the story is _there_ , now. Where she _was_ is no longer where she _is_ , like so many stories she's read before.

She doesn't remember everything, definitely not all of it, but she is beginning to piece it together a little. She remembers the house on the hill in wintertime and carrying something important in her hands, and screaming and getting hit in the head. She was called Charlie, then. A nickname, but one she used for her own anyway.

She remembers many nights spent staring at the ceiling in the house, thinking about how much she wanted to meet the characters of the story she is now in.

She rubs her metaphorical hands. 'Cause y'know. Deeze hands.

But anyway-

 _I'm gonna getcha, oooh I'm gonna getcha good._

* * *

Muttsuri opens her eyes to find herself in her hospital bed and it is quiet. Nagi is for once asleep in the white chair, propped up by her glaive and an elbow on the desk, head on a shoulder and dark hair from her ponytail splayed over it. Muttsuri can't remember a time when she's ever seen Nagi sleep; she has always been awake and at Muttsuri's side when she wakes up.

Nagi's face is as serene as it always is, but her hands are clenched tightly on her glaive, even in sleep. Muttsuri's companion has a trusted companion of her own.

Tears well in Muttsuri's eyes, and she lifts her "hands" to her shoulder so she can cover her face with her elbow. She takes a shuddering breath in, and out. The new memories of her family have made her miss them keenly, and feels the loss of them deeply. Plus it's been very lonely with only Nagi as a companion; the woman always seems to keep Muttsuri at arm's length.

Muttsuri lets herself sink into her feelings for a moment. How much she wants to go back to where her family was and all comforting familiarity. If only there was anything she could do, maybe dying again would—? _No_. She tells herself that she will not go down that path. To walk that path would leave something twisted in her, and if she never succeeded, she would have lived with her face turned to the dark, denying joy or fulfillment from this life. To take her life would be to dismiss the life she has now, all in the hope she might achieve something she doesn't even know is possible.

This is the life she has now, and by all that's good, she will try to live it. Even if it's very hard and dark right now, she will hold onto the hope that it will be better eventually. Maybe not now, maybe not soon, but it will happen. _I will make it so_.

A good start would be to get out of this hospital, the white on white rooms and white-coated people is starting to get to her. She rubs her face against her elbow, taking a deep breath again.

She lowers her elbow to find Nagi looking at her with an unreadable expression. "Nagi?"

Nagi dips her head in greeting, "Muttsuri-sama."

Muttsuri swallows, quickly gathering the courage to say her next words. She's terrified of what the answer will be. "Nagi, where is my family? Don't I have a mother and a father? Do they… not want me?" _Because of my deformity_ went unsaid.

The woman's face shadows briefly, eyes hooded and something like loss in her expression. "Muttsuri-sama… I'm sorry, your mother has passed on from this world. But she loved you very much, Muttsuri-sama, never doubt that. She fell extremely ill due to complications with your… hands, and died giving birth to you. She looked forward to meeting you so much; she would practice her first greeting to you with me as we traveled. She was very precious to me, so please believe me when I say that her love would not have been lessened whatsoever by your hands."

"As for your father…" She looks down and runs her hands over a nick in her glaive, "I cannot pretend to understand the master, but know that he carried you in his arms during the travel to this hospital, after the last refused to treat you, and demanded this one treat you. He has visited you over the years as you slept, though his recent visits have been less frequent. I had hoped that since you had awoken, the message I sent would see him back quickly…" She says the last part to herself and trails off, looking past Muttsuri to the window.

It is quiet for a moment, as Muttsuri digests this and Nagi is lost in thought. She can't help but feel hurt at her father's absence, and she mourns the loss of a mother she never knew. Neither parents of this life could ever replace those from the last, but Muttsuri believes that one can never have too much love and support, or too many mothers and fathers.

Muttsuri sits up and leans back into her pillows. "How long was I asleep for this time?" She asks tiredly, changing the subject.

"It has been three months, Muttsuri-sama."

Muttsuri winces. Two months will have put her back pretty far in her physical therapy. Not to mention the medical professionals refuse to run diagnostics on her while she is in a blackout, something about the readings being messed up, Nagi had said. They had seemed to be getting close to deciding on a way to free her hands the last time she had been awake, but who knows how long it will take with her semi-frequent blackouts.

Nagi stands up. "I will call the nurse now, Muttsuri-sama. They wanted to question you about what happened on the roof."

The trip to the roof had been shoved to a corner of her mind while she was processing her memories, completely forgotten. "Oh, yes, thank you Nagi."

Nagi leaves, one hand firmly on her glaive as she opens the door.

When she returns, she is followed not only by Muttsuri's regular nurse but also the pretty man that fell on Muttsuri when she woke up the second time in this world. Nagi has what might be a frustrated look on her face, but it's only in a slight furrowing of her brow and a slight dip to the corners of her mouth. Muttsuri probably wouldn't be able to tell if she hadn't spent so much time since waking up exclusively in Nagi's company.

The nurse, Iko, steps forward with a smile for Muttsuri. "Muttsuri-chan, how are you feeling? It's been quite a while since you were awake last."

"I feel fine, thank you. No headache or anything else."

"And how did it feel to go on the roof?"

"It was very nice, I enjoyed being outside very much. The roof had a lovely view."

Iko leans forward a little. "When did you begin to feel like you were going to pass out? Was it sudden or did you feel it coming? Was there anything in particular that stood out to you?"

Muttsuri remembers that the hospital had been against her going outside in the first place, and that Nagi had promised them to bring her in at the first sign of trouble, thereby assuring that minimal damage would happen. Minimal damage obviously hadn't happened. Muttsuri needs to convince Iko that her blackout hadn't been because of going outside and just happened on its own. She really doesn't want to be trapped inside forever.

"No, there wasn't any warning, we got all the way to the edge of the roof and it just happened. Nagi made sure that I was okay before going too far out," she says earnestly with wide eyes.

Iko hums and pats Muttsuri's arm, "Okay, Muttsuri-chan. Next time you want to go to the roof, ask for me or one of the other nurses to go with you, alright? That way we can be absolutely certain it's okay for you. We want to minimize any blackouts."

Relief sweeps through Muttsuri, and she smiles and nods her head. "I will."

"If there's nothing you want or need, I'll be back tomorrow for our regular physical therapy. Welcome back, Muttsuri-chan."

"Thank you, I'm fine. See you tomorrow Iko-san!"

The pretty man doesn't follow Iko through the door, and he steps forward when the door closes. "Hello, Muttsuri-chan! I'm Yamanaka Inomaru, but please call me Inomaru. I'm a friend of Nagi-chan's," Nagi presses her lips in a line, "and I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that if you need anything, I've got an office just downstairs. Advice, counseling, or just someone to talk to, my door's always open for you."

The name _Yamanaka_ and the way his hair is swept up into a high ponytail brings to mind a girl named Ino, someone she places as a character from the _Naruto_ story with an internal wince at the resulting headache. She doesn't remember much about Ino, other than she was bossy and fierce and sure of herself and something about being a mind reader? Muttsuri thinks maybe it was a clan thing. She would try to remember more but her head's killing her now, though it might explain the weird feeling she got when Inomaru examined her when she first woke up.

"Nice to meet you, Inomaru-san. I'm glad Nagi has more than just her glaive and me for company," she says with a smile.

Inomaru's brows draw together and gives Nagi a look, but she ignores him. "Muttsuri-chan, what did you just say?" He asks, turning back.

"I said it's nice to meet you and I'm glad Nagi has more friends than just me and her glaive?"

"Muttsuri-chan, this is called a naginata, not a… whatever it is you said." Inomaru helpfully says.

 _Oh crap. Oh no, that was English_. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was what it was called," she says quickly, sweating internally.

"It's alright, Muttsuri-chan."

Inomaru stays and makes small talk for a while (How're you finding the hospital? Fine. How's Nagi teaching you to speak going? All right), but Nagi acts particularly frigid and Muttsuri is too distracted by her headache to really engage. He leaves shortly and Nagi goes to work at her desk and Muttsuri looks out the window.

* * *

Muttsuri is beginning to piece together a theory on her situation, besides the obvious "lived another life, been reincarnated". She lived a previous life as Charlie, died under uncertain circumstances, and was reborn as Muttsuri. The rebirth process locked away all her memories, and in order to access a memory, she has to break down the "door" to its prison in order to free it. Smaller memories have smaller, more easily broken doors while larger ones have very sturdy doors. Breaking down any door causes a headache for Muttsuri, but the smallest, least complicated memories just cause small twinges while the largest cause her to pass out, sometime for months.

For example, her previous blackout seems to have given her the general memory of the story of _Naruto_ plus the sketchy memory of her death as Charlie with a few small background memories thrown in. Like her family's faces and voices and bits of something called "fanfiction". (She's a little confused about the last one because all she remembers of fanfiction seems to be contradictory with itself and with _Naruto_ itself.)

What she doesn't understand is _why_ she is able to remember. She assumes that other reincarnated people never remembered their previous life. At least, she doesn't have any obvious memories of that being the norm from when she was Charlie, and she doesn't want to dig around and inadvertently put herself into a coma just now. But why does she remember?

She has a feeling it may have something to do with the condition her hands are in, but she doesn't see how. The memory she recovered of her death is very garbled and unclear—she doesn't know why—but she knows with certainty that what she was holding was very important. But was its importance derived from an ability to make a dead person remember their past life? Muttsuri has no clue.

She tests out her theory of breaking down "memory doors" a few times in the following week of recuperation and it seems to be sound. She tests out a small memory (what was her favorite color? Green.), and gets barely a passing pain. As she's about to go to bed she tries to remember Charlie's neighborhood around the house on the hill, so that if she passes out it will look normal and not arouse concern. It works out perfectly; the next thing she knows it is the morning of the next day. With a couple other tests, she allows herself to stop poking at her memory to give her poor head a rest.

She can't help the random day-to-day spurts of memory retrieving, though. Sometimes she's thinking normally and she tries to catch a stray thought and then her head hurts from the recollection of the memory.

She does notice that sometimes she will come back to herself after remembering in not quite the position she was in before, like she turned her head and was staring at Nagi once, though she started out looking at the tree outside her window. She had to give a quick excuse that she was lost in thought—well, she kind of was but not in the regular way—and apologize for her rudeness.

* * *

After a week she journeys to the roof again with Nagi and the nurse in tow, with the former carrying her bridal style once again. It goes without a hitch and Muttsuri is struck again by all the color of the real world. Going back to her hospital room feels almost like going to prison and she almost hates the room as she re-enters it. Sure, she has the window to the tree and a bit of sky, but she doesn't really have _vibrance_ or _life_ inside.

She asks Nagi if it would be possible to get something colorful for the room, thinking a candle or _something_ would help, and Nagi dips her head and says, "I will see what I can do, Muttsuri-sama."

She was expecting Nagi to get something small, if anything, so she is surprised when the next day Nagi brings in a sizeable potted carnation plant. She thumps it on Muttsuri's bedside table with a frown on her face, but when she glances over to Muttsuri her face clears and she dips her head slightly, "Forgive me, Muttsuri-sama, I had a bit of a hassle in buying this, that is all. I did not mean to disturb you."

Muttsuri quickly shakes her head, "No, it's fine!" She scooches over to the edge of the bed nearest the plant and leans over to sniff the flowers. _Green_ and _growing_ and _alive_ meets her nose, and she happily laughs. "Thank you so much! I wasn't expecting something so nice, this is very wonderful of you." She says, looking up at Nagi.

Nagi's cheeks have a faint pink tinge when she says, "It was nothing, I am pleased I have performed my duty well. I also brought something else," she continues, pulling out a small scroll from a pocket, "that I hope will please you just as much, and that I am not overstepping my boundaries in bringing."

She does something with her hands and there's a puff of smoke— _oh wow is she a ninja_?—and out pops a tree branch into Nagi's hands. "Oh," Muttsuri gasps. Nagi holds it out to Muttsuri who suddenly wants to cry and clutch at the branch, a _pine tree_ branch, but she doesn't have the hands to do so, so she looks up to Nagi with tears in her eyes and says, "Thank you, Nagi. _Thank you_ so much." Pine trees mean home to her, the smell and the feel and the color of the needles remind her of her home and family as Charlie, but not only that, the fact that Nagi remembered their conversation and didn't write it off is very touching, and she promises herself she won't forget this.

Nagi dips her head again, "I am pleased that you are pleased." She looks up, "If I may, I would hang this from your headboard."

Muttsuri sniffs and rubs at an eye with her shoulder, "Yes, please. That would be great," she says, trying to rein her emotions in.

The pine bough hangs proudly above her head when Nagi is finished, and Muttsuri is overwhelmed with gratefulness for Nagi. She may be cold and distant most of the time, but maybe she's not completely uncaring.

"Nagi, thank you for being here with me."

Nagi gives a small, rare smile and bows her head.

* * *

With the week of recovery the doctors are ready to continue figuring out a way to free her hands. Since they were getting close to being ready before her blackout, and despite her fears of delays, it isn't too long before Muttsuri is told that they are ready to try a test run on her left pinky. They want her to be awake for the operation, since "odd" things happen when they work on her hands when she's under.

She's been told they're still operating under the assumption that her hands are some kind of first generation kekkei genkai and not a very odd birth defect. The way the mass of flesh reacts to interference is nothing like normal flesh's reactions.

But really, other than the odd reactions and Muttsuri's maturity despite being in a coma for the beginning of her life, there's no sign of anything significant from her hands. Compared to the great kekkei genkai in the ninja world, her hands are abnormally weak and kind of useless. Actually, it has hamstringed her in multiple ways. There's a hope that once they're able to separate the thing from her hands her kekkei genkai will prove to be not-as-horrible.

She doesn't know of any kekkei genkai like hers from the general story of _Naruto_ that she remembered. It's strange that a kekkei genkai would so obviously hamstring its user and require outside manipulation in order to be unleashed. But the doctors probably know best, and other than the vague feeling it has to something to do with her death as Charlie, she can't think of a better explanation.

The day of the test operation dawns cloudy outside her window and she is nervous. Not only is she nervous of the outcome— _what if something goes wrong oh no what if they have to cut off my arms and then they get infected and I die oh noooo_ —but she's also nervous to be _awake_ during an operation. That's just freaky, and she keeps psyching herself out as she and Nagi wait for her to be brought to the operation room. She tries to take deep breaths and let the smell of pine coming from the bough at her head calm her, but it doesn't help as much as she wants it to.

Nagi looks calm and collected mostly, but she's fingering her glaive— _naginata_ more than she normally does.

A nurse she hasn't seen before comes to lead Muttsuri and Nagi to the surgery wing. She doesn't really interact with them, unlike Iko who always has the time to talk and a smile for Muttsuri. She appreciates Iko's chatter much more than the almost-rude briskness in which the new nurse directs them.

When they pass a waiting room, the nurse pauses and says, "Wait here during the operation, Nagi-san. It should only take a half hour, and then you may see Muttsuri-chan when she is in recovery."

Nagi looks to the waiting room, then back to the nurse. "No, nurse-san. I will wait outside the operating room if I must, but that is as far as I go. You have no need to worry about my interference in the operation, and I cannot be far from Muttsuri's side. It was part of my master's agreement with this hospital, as I'm sure you know."

The nurse holds Nagi's eyes for a moment, then flicks them away from Nagi and says, "I was not told of such an arrangement," she huffs, "The doctors will probably require you to leave before they operate, but come along."

Nagi makes a neutral noise in the back of her throat, and they continue.

The nurse brings them to a room a little bigger than Muttsuri's, with a bunch of machines and trays bearing surgical utensils around a bed in the center. Muttsuri starts to feel like her heart has turned into a small fluttering bird in her chest, and it's trying to escape before the surgery starts.

There are a couple unidentifiable people in scrubs and surgical masks working around the room, one of which the nurse goes to. She talks in a low tone to it, but the figure shakes its head and says clearly, "Outside the door is fine."

The nurse returns to them and says to Nagi, "Alright, Nagi-san. I will bring you a chair while you wait, if you would come with me." Her mouth is a pinched at the corners, but she remains professional.

The poor bird in Muttsuri's chest increases its efforts to be free as Nagi leaves with one last look over her shoulder and a, "It will be alright, Muttsuri-sama."

A masked figure detaches itself from the rest and he approaches Muttsuri, and she is surprised to find she recognizes the twinkling eyes and the voice that says, "Very reassuring, our Nagi-chan."

" _Inomaru-san_?" Muttsuri asks incredulously, "What are you doing here? I thought you worked in the psychology department." She adds.

"Well, normally, yes, but it was decided with your special case and the fact that you needed to be awake that you should have someone to accompany you through the operation."

"I see," She pauses, "Why wasn't Nagi allowed, then?"

Inomaru shrugs, "Not hospital staff. The doctors get antsy if someone not from Konoha watch them work."

"Oh…" she murmurs, disappointed. It would have been nice to have Nagi's calm presence during the operation, but at least Inomaru seems like he will be good at distracting her.

"Alright, Muttsuri-chan," Inomaru places a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Let's get you up onto the princess bed so that the daimyo's court can see what they can do for your hands."

Muttsuri giggles as he helps her up onto the bed, and she settles in as he helps position a curtain to fall over her chest, blocking her view of her hands. "Now, I don't want to promise any miracles, but I've been told that our staff here at Kanoha General are some of the best in the land, so I wouldn't be surprised if they even manage to paint your nails before you seem them, eh?"

He continues to talk to Muttsuri during the whole operation, sometimes even startling more giggles out of her. He somehow manages to make the operation fly by. Before she knows it the curtain is raised and she has a little gauze-wrapped bundle sticking out from her conjoined hands. One of the masked people not involved with putting things away says to her, "We were able to heal most of the skin over, but please leave it wrapped for two days to fully heal. There are some stitches on your finger just in case, be sure not to pick at them. Your regular nurse will help you unwrap it and move it around, okay?"

Muttsuri nods and Inomaru helps her get down from the bed, then gently claps her on the shoulder, "See, it went okay! Nothing to worry about. Soon you won't have to ask someone to itch your nose, won't that be something?" He grins.

Muttsuri smiles too; that has been a bother, not being able to itch when she really needs to, especially when Nagi needs to use the restroom or run errands. "Yes, I'm looking forward to it! And thank you very much for taking me through the operation, Inomaru-san."

Inomaru's grin gets a little more gentle before he says, "Not a problem. I'm glad that after all our time waiting, we finally get to meet you and you get to grow and go play in the real world soon. A bright kid like you shouldn't spend her whole life in some dreary hospital."

"How are you feeling, Muttsuri-sama?" Nagi is back from the hallway and smoothly cuts Inomaru off, "I have been told that the operation went well."

"I feel okay. I can't really feel my pinky yet, so we'll need to wait to see what happens, but everything else feels fine."

"That is good." Nagi bows her head slightly, shoulders slumping maybe a fraction of an inch before they rise again and she turns to Inomaru. "Thank you for being with Muttsuri during her operation, Inomaru-san." Her tone is a little cooler than usual.

"It was my pleasure, Nagi-chan." He says with an eye-closing smile.

Nagi bows her head a little to him, and then the nurse from before comes to take them away.

Muttsuri waggles her elbow to Inomaru in goodbye from her spot behind the two women as they leave, and Inomaru grins and waves back.

In two days her pinky is unwrapped, a trail of fine stitches lining the inside of the finger, and Muttsuri is delighted to find that the doctors somehow managed to find a nail underneath all the skin so she really _can_ itch the itches she hasn't been able to before. Well, at least on her face and the front of her body. It requires some careful maneuvering of her bulky "hands" but she can get to most of the itches.

Okay so it's like a drop of water to a starving man because _wow_ does having one finger free bring to the forefront that she should have _all_ of them free and this is actually pretty crappy, she's still connected to this absolutely horrid thing joining her two hands and she's excited to be able to _itch her face_ and though she's just gained the ability to do that, she still needs a nurse or Nagi to do literally everything else including _wiping herself after she uses the bathroom_.

The thought leaves her breathing heavily in her bed at night in one of the rare moments that Nagi steps out, presumably to see to necessities that she actually has the hands to take care of. It's been the norm for Muttsuri to promise that she won't leave the room while Nagi is in the bathroom, but Muttsuri finds she really needs to take a walk by herself, just a short one and she'll be back before Nagi is out, just to clear her head a little.

She swings her legs over the side of the bed and pads quietly to the door where she listens for anyone in the hall. She doesn't want anyone to catch her without Nagi, at least in this wing, because most of the staff know she's not allowed outside her room without her. Hearing nothing, she opens the door a crack, then a little further and she slides out.

She turns right, away from the physical therapy wing and towards the main area of the hospital. At first it is a little scary being in the quiet corridors by herself, but it slowly grows to be more calming and freeing. This is the first time in this life that she has been able to walk somewhere of her own choice, to choose a destination of her own choice.

She starts picking directions at random after she gets a ways away from her room, and starts walking faster and faster, choosing the most winding path she can. She can't keep the grin off her face, loving the ability to just walk without any attachments or goals.

Eventually she gets tired, panting a little for each breath, so she slows down and finds that she has wandered into a section she has never been to; the nin-ward. Though technically not its own ward, it is the area of the hospital that caters to ninja personnel, and is equipped to handle ninja politics and eccentricities. It is also the area that tends to have the highest density of medic ninja, with the civilian wards having about a third of that of the nin-ward.

It makes sense; ninja in general get into much more trouble than the civilians.

Muttsuri glances into a couple rooms with open doors as she passes them, feeling the surreality of the moment. These people are from a story, inhabitants of a fake world and just two-dimensional drawings on a page, but they're also real flesh and blood people, going about their lives as real people do. She hears laughter from one open door, and snoring from another as she passes them.

She peeks through the next door into a dark room, its inhabitant asleep and attached to beeping machines. She halts in her tracks.

 _Oh_.

She had forgotten him.

She walks to the entrance of the room, pulled by an invisible string.

She hesitates momentarily at the entrance, and ends up just a step into the room leaning against the wall, tears springing to her eyes as she bites her lip to keep it in, all of her emotions. He sleeps on in the bed, out cold.

He was small and insignificant in the greater story of it all, but he left echoes in the people that knew him. He was kind and good, and tried so very hard to do what was right.

 _This one, this good one, is destined to die_ , Muttsuri thinks as she slides down the wall, resting her head against her knees as it starts to pound from the memories. Her tears fall onto her thighs as she holds in a whimper. The ache in her head mixes with the ache in her heart.

The room is dark and quiet save for his light breathing and the beeping machines, and the only light comes from the door Muttsuri left cracked behind her. She lets the quiet seep into her as she squeezes her knees with her arms, absorbing it and calming herself.

She lifts her head to look at him. She isn't a good judge of age, but he seems to be much younger than he would be at the time of his death. He has time to live and grow yet.

She gets lost just looking at him. His eyes are even more beautiful than she would have imagined they could be in reality and not as ink on a page. His nose is broad and his hair flops every which way like it's too lazy to lie in any uniformity. But his _eyes_ …

He mumbles, tearing her from her contemplation, and his brows scrunch as he frowns. His sleep is troubled.

Muttsuri gets up from the floor, feeling a little achy and chilled from the hard linoleum, and dithers with herself. She's been a little creepy just staring at a sleeping almost-child, but there's something she wants to get and bring back. Leaving it would probably be even creepier than just watching him sleep, but she wants to leave some token of comfort for him, and something to mark that she was there. It doesn't matter if it is overlooked or thrown away or anything else, she wants to give it anyway.

If she hurries, she might be able to run her errand before Nagi comes back, she thinks to herself as she makes her decision.

Muttsuri nudges open the door, taking one lingering look at him as she listens for anyone passing in the hall. Satisfied no one's around after a quick look through the crack, she hurries out and down the corridor.

She wends her way through the halls, retracing her steps at a trot now that she's rested a bit. She could take a shorter route, but she wouldn't be familiar with it and her sense of direction is terrible as it is, so she sticks to her longer route.

In her haste she passes a couple nameless staff on her way, but thankfully no one she knows. When she gets to her room, she carefully opens the door, praying she won't see Nagi back early and waiting on the other side.

The room is empty, and she breathes a sigh in relief.

She walks to her bed and clambers up (it's a little hard without help or hands and with her small body) and pauses on her knees at the head of the bed, trying to figure out how to do this.

 _Uhh… maybe if I… use my mouth along with my pinky_?

 _Mm, this is going to taste so good_.

She manages to tear off a minor branch with a couple clusters of needles using her teeth and her pinky, and at the end her mouth tastes like, well, tree, and her pinky aches and there may or may not be spit on one end, but she's got it.

She travels across the hospital a third time carrying it with her pinky, and she finds his room just as she left it, beeps marking time in the dim room.

She sidles into the room, and then hesitantly up to the side of his bed. Again, she is overwhelmed by how much she loves this human being if he is any ounce like how he was written, and how much she wants to protect him and his eyes from their fate.

She gently places the pine branch on the corner of the mattress by his head, and fervently hopes that the clean crisp smell will clear his thoughts and smooth his frown. She bows her head over his arm on the mattress, offering up a prayer that his way might somehow be easier than it was in the story.

On her way to the door she stops and bows Uchiha Shisui. She knows it's really creepy but it just feels like the right thing to do.

As she straightens, a thought occurs to her and she nods to herself.

She needs to look into nets. Large nets.

* * *

~~Read on for a bonus from Iko's view, from when she first met Muttsuri and Nagi~~

Iko, physical therapy nurse-in-training extraordinaire, nervously turns the doorknob to the hospital room. Even though she's training to be a physical therapy nurse, her friend thought it would be a good idea of Iko subbed for her as a regular nurse when she got sick. This is the friend of Iko's that liked to complain about the creepiness of a particular patient of her's. From what little she's sorted from the dramatics, Iko doesn't really understand how a child in a coma could be so active and hard to handle, but her friend's warnings got to her anyway and now her hand shakes as she pushes the door open.

She steps inside with a smile plastered on her face and takes a deep breath. "Hello-" she begins, only to be interrupted by the mumbling of a little girl, a toddler, really, crouched on the bed with something in her hands. Her head is tilted at an angle, short dark hair lining her head that looks like it grew out after it was shaved. When the door creaks the child's head turns towards it, but her icy gray-brown eyes are unfocused and she's mumbling something to herself.

A million things race through Iko's head; she thought this was a coma patient, what has she done wrong, what is the protocol for this, what if she's permanently brain-damaged the poor child, oh _why_ didn't she grille her friend for more information about her job before agreeing to fill in?!

Outside of Iko's head, the child tips over onto her side, no longer mumbling but still staring blankly. A woman Iko didn't notice when she opened the door gets up from the chair in the corner and goes to girl, lifting her up and gently tucking her under the covers. She shoots over her shoulder a chilly "Yes?" She has dark circles under her eyes, marring her pale skin and outlining even darker eyes that seem like voids that see into Iko for all her faults. She wears dark grey clothing with arm and shin guards, a naginata strapped to her back with a dull leather harness.

She clears her throat, finding it suddenly dry. "I'm here to fill in for your regular nurse, who has caught the flu and will be out for a few days." She says in reply, wielding it like the shield against this woman's scrutiny.

The wraith of a woman wordlessly steps back from the bed, leaving room for Iko to step up to it.

Iko steps forward, feeling the weight of the woman's regard as she bends down to fiddle with the machines and make sure everything is as it should be. "I'm Iko, by the way. Pleasure to meet you."

"I am Nagi," is all the woman says.

Towards the end of the procedure, as Iko rests her wrist against the girl's forehead for a preliminary test of temperature, the most gentle smile Iko has ever seen pushes up the girl's round cheeks, and she says something softly before her eyes drifts shut and she seems to sigh and sink into herself, apparently falling asleep.

Iko presses a fist to her heart, a blush on her own cheeks. This is the cutest child she's ever seen! Despite her peculiarities, the girl has just found a place into Iko's heart. She has a huge weakness for cute things. She goes back to her work with a lighter heart, humming under her breath.

"You may tell your superior that I am pleased with your work, and if possible, I request that you replace Muttsuri-sama's regular nurse." Nagi breaks the quiet, startling Iko. She may be imagining it, but the woman's voice seems to have warmed a fraction of a degree.

"Oh! Um, thank you, but I'm just a nurse in training and the regular nurse is really much more qualified than I am, I couldn't dream of replacing her."

The woman dips her head. "Regardless, if possible I would have you be assigned regularly to Muttsuri-sama."

Iko's brows scrunch and she says uncertainly, "Well, I'll see what I can do. Just don't get your hopes up."

And that was how Iko became the permanent nurse for little Muttsuri, even though she was just a lowly nurse-in-training at the time, and for physical therapy no less, not regular patient care. It became a special case for the hospital, and one that brightened Iko's shifts.

* * *

 **Yes yes, come watch as my reincarnation obsesses a little too much over Uchiha Shisui.**

 **Fun fact: Shisui's eyes are Pure Art and he is a Good Kid, fight me.**

 **Yes, the carnations were from a certain Yamanaka shop, suggested by Inomaru himself. He may or may not have walked Nagi there, and that's why she was in a bad mood. More elaboration about their acquaintance to come, probably at an end of chapter point of view, like Iko's in this chapter.**

 **If you were a little confused by Muttsuri's explanation behind her memories, here is another more fleshed out way to look at it:**

 **It took five years for Muttsuri's body to "download" Charlie. The base personality and reasoning are there, but most memories are not. Only ones that you would be able to remember without any thought were "downloaded" and the rest require further "downloading" in order to be accessed. Kind of like she woke up with a very very limited base game, but every other memory is a DLC that needs a lot of open processors to be downloaded.**

 **For an explanation of the "base game" or " base program", it's a little like how you don't need memories to find something funny, or know right from wrong in your day-to-day life. Those personality traits were grown from your experiences and are influenced by how you remember those experiences, but you don't actively need them in order to act on them. A lot of things we don't precisely recall where we learned them, but we do them anyway. For example, I don't remember exactly where or who taught me that sneezing in someone's face is rude, but I can honestly say I don't have to think about it before forming my opinion on it. Make sense?**

 **This also extended to bodily functions, of course, but a new body messes up with the translation. Everyone's body and muscles are connected slightly differently and move a little differently, so I would imagine it would be very hard to move in a coordinated fashion right after getting a new body. However, for the sake of this story I'm going to say that it was taken care of in Muttsuri's physical therapy, and any uncoordination on Muttsuri's part was written of as "well, she's pretty much literally a baby, it's amazing that she not acting like it as it is so whatever. Kekkei genkai magic." Jazz hands. Yes, Muttsuri would be weak, but if she was in Charlie's body she would have been up and about in a much shorter time.**

 **Question for reviewers: who do you feel deserves the title Good Kid in the _Naruto_ universe? There can be more than one! I'm interested to see who will come up. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: character death. It's that chapter, guys. No blood or gruesome detail written out, mostly pain and panic, but it is a thought process as someone experiences a death situation. Please be safe, and feel free to PM me if you would like a summary or anything for this chapter.**

* * *

 _Right left and forward, backwards, to the start. Are you ready? I hope so._

The stitches in Muttsuri's finger throb to the beat of her heart as she heads back to her hospital room from the nin-ward. In her head she's spacing out, trying to comprehend actually seeing a character made flesh. It's a very strange concept for her to grasp, trying to associate images of a two-dimensional drawing and cartoon with a real, literally breathing person and it just doesn't seem to click.

If she ignores her memories and focuses only on the people, it is easy to pretend that she's still in her old world. Seeing a character made flesh has reminded her again where she is, and the fact that it's one of the characters she respects the most is extra jarring.

A real person actually acting like a character in a book? Incomprehensible, but: amazing.

 _Best Kid Good Kid Shisui has literal flesh that I can totally POKE_. This particular thought is also distracting. Muttsuri would bet a good deal that Shisui would have soft skin, just from her look at him in the semi-darkness of his hospital room. And Uchiha in general were probably all fabulous. She has discovered a deep-seated need to pet the Uchiha. All of them, but most especially Shisui.

She passes through the hospital in a quiet daze from her swirling thoughts, and when she gets back to the hallway with her room it takes her a moment of staring at the figures arguing in front of the door before she snaps back to reality.

"Nagi!" She pauses, and bobs her head in a short bow, "and Inomaru-san, hello."

Nagi and Inomaru both pause and turn to face Muttsuri. Nagi seems to let out a breath and her shoulders sag just a fraction. She says to Inomaru at her side, "It seems that your assistance will not be needed. I thank you for coming on such short notice, Inomaru-san."

"Not a problem! I'm glad you turned up all right, Muttsuri-chan. Have a good evening, ladies," Inomaru says, and takes his leave.

By the time he's gone, Nagi has her arms crossed and is standing with her feet shoulder width apart, her dark clothing matching the foreboding expression of her face. "Muttsuri-sama." Her voice is inflectionless but her eyes are slightly narrowed. She doesn't continue, instead she just keeps regarding Muttsuri with a level look.

Muttsuri hunches her shoulders. "I, uhm, needed… to go for a walk?" She explains, but it comes out as a question.

"… I see." Nagi leans back on her heels, her head tilting back, "And your walk could not have waited until I came back? You know you are to not leave the room unescorted by myself or Iko-san."

"I know!" Muttsuri's eyes drift to the edge of the door beside Nagi, "It's just… I really needed to go alone, you know? I didn't… everything got to be too much, with my hands and being stuck in the hospital, I just really needed to get out of the room." She takes in a breath, "I'm sorry I broke my promise to you, but I couldn't take being in the room a moment longer," she says, looking back up.

Nagi's eyes soften a little and she walks forward to crouch in front of Muttsuri. Her mouth is still firm. "I see. Please understand that I am here to protect you, and that promise to wait was to keep you safe. I know this whole situation may be a lot for you to handle, but with hope you will soon be able to leave this place with your burden lessened. And perhaps then I may teach you a way to defend yourself for when I am not with you, but until then, please hold patience and wait for me when I leave, Muttsuri-sama."

"But why do I need protection in the first place, Nagi?" Muttsuri hadn't realized how she badly wanted to know the answer, but now that she's voiced the question she's burning with curiosity and frustration, "Who am I that I need to be protected? I'm in the middle of a village of ninjas, what could they possibly want from me? I'm nobody."

"You are—" Nagi pauses, and then her eyes flick over Muttsuri's shoulder, and she stands up. "This is not a discussion that should be held in the hall. Come, let's get you settled for sleep and we can continue in the room."

She opens the door for Muttsuri, and when she has brushed her teeth and— _sigh_ —had Nagi's help using the toilet, Nagi helps her into bed before continuing, "It is not so much who you are, but what your father fears. You are the daughter of a very wealthy merchant with business and enemies in many countries, but that alone is not what worries the master so. While Konoha has an excellent reputation for healing, there are also rumors of Konoha having a dark history experimentation and picking the body apart."

 _Orochimaru_ , Muttsuri thinks, _…and maybe Danzo to a lesser extent_. _But how could a layman outside of the country find out about them?_ Either mans' darker sides should have been kept secret by the village, under wraps no ordinary merchant could unravel, no matter how important or well connected he was.

She wonders when exactly Orochimaru leaves Konoha, if he is still there and an imminent threat walking the halls of the hospital, sure to stumble across any number of interesting little girls lost and alone.

 _Swiper no swiping!_ She mentally tells her image of Orochimaru stalking and licking little children in the hospital.

She desperately needs to find out when exactly she is in the timeline so she knows which dark characters she should make it her priority to avoid. She doesn't really have someone she could ask without raising suspicions, though. Nagi isn't exactly out and about in the village to gather gossip and she can't imagine how she could ask someone else, "So, do you know of any snake-men with fantastic purple eye liner around the village? Already defected? Oh, how perfect ho ho ho."

No. Muttsuri gets the nervous sweats just thinking about it.

Maybe… Inomaru? He did offer to hear out any troubles she might have, and this would certainly be trouble. _Do ninja psychologists do patient confidentiality?_ If she sounded like a lunatic, but was eventually proven right, would he go to the hokage and therefore let Danzo know? Ugh, better not hint that she knows anything if she can help it, the last thing she wants is Danzo on her case. That man for sure sticks around Konoha for a long time.

Although, just seeing Shisui is a big help for placing her on the timeline, she knows for a fact that Orochimaru hasn't become obsessed with the Uchiha's eyes yet. Zetsu is probably happily playing chess with bodies or something off in a corner of the world, safely distracted for a while yet. Danzo obviously still has and always will have a hard on for some very nice red eyeballs but hasn't taken Shisui's. yet She still has her chance to stalk the Uchiha clan and observe their beautiful eyes. Small pleasures, that's what she should focus on. Never mind that a nearly certified pedophile could nab her. _Hey, what can you do? That's life._

 _Ow._ Muttsuri has yet another headache from remembering the small mental parade of evildoers from _Naruto_.

She should figure out what she wants to do about that evildoer parade soon, she thinks. To avoid or not to avoid? There are pretty large pros and cons for both options— _pros for avoid: not dying, not being put through great amounts of pain, avoiding inevitable heart break of seeing wonderful people dying. Cons for avoid: not knowing wonderful people and potentially preventing their deaths, inaction is just as bad as bad action, seeing Shisui's beautiful eyes up close I mean figuratively look at them they're perfect_ —but she figures she can procrastinate on the decision until she's out of the hospital.

Nagi is still talking. "So while this is the best place for you to be for your hands, it is also a dangerous place for a medically interesting child with but one guard and no relatives nearby. So please understand, Muttsuri-sama, that when I request you to await me in your room, it is for your own safety."

"I understand, Nagi. I won't do it again."

"And," Nagi's brows furrow the slightest amount, a brief hint of dislike on her face, "despite my misgivings of his character, Inomaru-san is a trained professional that's familiar with your situation. If you feel uncomfortable talking with me, or would like to talk with someone else, perhaps it would be good to see him. I believe we can trust him to be discreet."

"Oh! Yes, he was really nice when I had my operation the other day," Muttsuri says, thinking that even if she can't talk to him about the timeline, at least she can have his help getting a better handle on her emotions. "Maybe tomorrow, Iko-san did give me the day off…" She yawns, tired from everything that happened that day.

"Alright, maybe tomorrow. For now, goodnight Muttsuri-sama."

* * *

The next day shines bright and clear, and with the new day is a determination to talk with Inomaru. Muttsuri can't talk to him about knowing the plot of _Naruto_ , but what harm could there be in talking to him about reincarnation? He's someone well-versed in the human psyche, so dealing with the baggage from her memories should be something he's qualified to at least wade through with her. It's probably not something he's had to deal with in a patient before, but his prior experience should be helpful.

After her morning routine with Nagi—bathroom activities, breakfast, and language lessons—Muttsuri says to Nagi, "Can we go talk to Inomaru-san? It was a good idea, and we've got time thanks to Iko-san."

Nagi dips her head, "Of course, Muttsuri-sama. He may be meeting with someone, but we can at least see when he would be free."

"Oh, yes, of course." Muttsuri forgot he was a working employee of the hospital; obviously he has other patients to see to as well.

Inomaru's office is clustered with a couple others near the entrance of the hospital and is a bit of a hike for Muttsuri's weak legs, so she is a little worn out by the time she and Nagi arrive at the receptionist's desk.

"We're here to see Inomaru-sensei if he's available, please," Nagi says.

"He's meeting with someone right now, but after that he should be free if you would like to wait?" The receptionist barely glances up to ask.

Nagi looks to Muttsuri, who startles, "Y-yes? Yes please. That would be great."

The receptionist gestures to the seating area off to the side, "I'll let him now you're here when his guest leaves."

Muttsuri goes and gratefully sits in the corner facing the entrance while Nagi leans against the wall next to her. Muttsuri reads the motivational posters and looks at pictures of smiling children on the walls, but eventually she runs out of things to look at and she stares down at her hands and begins to grow nervous. What if this is a mistake—?

A man exiting the hallway that leads to the offices interrupts Muttsuri's beginning inner panic. He has prominent cheekbones, light blue pupil-less eyes, and a questionable mullet-and-ponytail hairstyle, but what really draws her attention is his subtle aura of gravitas. She probably wouldn't notice him in a crowded room, but with the receptionist and Nagi, and with her being already in panic mode, this man is a little scary. Fortunately, the man leaves without a glance in her direction, and she lets her breath out.

She turns to Nagi, intending to ask about the man, but she stops when she notices Nagi staring after him, a slight frown pulling the corners of her mouth down.

The receptionist gets up and walks down the hall, and comes back a moment later to say, "Yamanaka-sensei will see you now."

Inomaru is leaning back in his chair massaging his forehead when she enters his office, but when he sees her he smiles and leans forward, putting his hand down, "Well good afternoon Muttsuri-chan! To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Good afternoon, Inomaru-san," Muttsuri says with a grin at his welcome, tucking away his state as she walked into the office to analyze later. Something seems to be going on between Inomaru and his clan mate. "I, um," she falters, not entirely sure how to say it, "…I need your help."

At his supportive _mmm?_ sound, she takes a deep breath, her heart fluttering, "I—I died, Inomaru-san. I am, kind of, in a way, dead. I died but didn't? I don't know how else to say it, or the proper course of action to go about to tell you, but I died."

She pauses, and looks at Inomaru. After he frowns slightly, but nods, so she continues, "I lived, once, somewhere, and somehow now I am here. I… don't really know how to deal with it." She bites her lip, "my body is different, _I_ am slightly different, in a different place, with a culture and a people I know for a fact were not mine, and had never been where I was before. Though I guess I have seen bits that resemble what I knew," she glosses over as best she can that this world wasn't there before but was in fact a story.

"But I am _gone_. And my family, my country, everything I knew is gone because of that, out of my reach. And I just… I miss them," Her voice begins to warble and tears come to her eyes, her heart clenching, "They're all gone, and I only have Nagi, and my father here won't even come see me! They all left! Or, not left, but, not here, and I just—" her throat closes up and she buries her face in her "hands".

After a long moment she feels a warm weight on her back that begins to run circles. After she takes a couple minutes to sit there and cry, she looks up to find Inomaru crouching down to her level on the chair. "I am sorry, Muttsuri. What you're saying," he pauses, "I cannot begin to—you must have been very strong to make it as far as you have without asking for help before now. But I'm very glad you have. This is a lot for someone as young," he cuts himself off with a cut of his hand. "Actually, how old were you, do you remember? Oh—it doesn't matter, it would be a lot no matter what their age is or was. I imagine it would be a lot for an old guy like myself to handle," he smiles slightly and raises a brow at her, inviting her to partake in the joke.

She smiles a little, "I was somewhere around twenty, I think. I don't really remember everything clearly, just bits and pieces that are kind of fuzzy."

"I'm sorry, Muttsuri," He says quietly, briefly squeezing her shoulder. "I don't know how to best help you, I frankly have never had any experience with something like this, but I promise I will try my best to help you. Have you talked about this to Nagi?"

"Oh, um, no. Should I?"

Inomaru shrugs, "That's up to you in the end, but it might be helpful being able to talk about this to someone so close to you. But that's for later. For now, why don't you tell me what you remember, and after you leave I'll do some thinking on how best to help you, maybe look around to see if there are any records of something like your case."

She looks up, "Will you have to report about me to anyone? I don't know how much I trust, er, how much I'm ready for other people to know," she says, remembering what Nagi had said earlier about Konoha not being so safe.

"Not right away, no, and even then I'm not sure that it's necessary to tell anyone about your exact circumstances. It might be of interest to someone in the government, but I can't see it getting passed very high up. It's not really about anything pertaining to village security or the end of the world, right?" He raises his eyebrow.

Muttsuri laughs weakly and looks at the corner of his desk.

"But that's in the future, for now let's focus on you." He says with an encouraging nod.

Muttsuri smiles, and begins after a breath to gather herself, "I grew up in a yellow house on a hill, where it always seemed to be sunny…"

* * *

Two weeks later after nothing problematic happens with her pinky the doctors finally deem it safe enough to operate on the rest of her hands.

Iko takes them to the operating room this time instead of the nameless nurse, but the day is much the same as the first preliminary test, complete with Muttsuri being completely awake and Inomaru next to her to be support and distraction. She's still nervous, but less so since the test run had gone without a hitch.

Somewhere towards the middle of the operation she feels a haze creep over her, but its progress is so gradual that when actually she notices and tries to move, it holds her fast in an iron grip. She desperately casts her eyes to Inomaru for help and briefly meets his eyes before—

 _She is running through ankle deep snow in the near dark of night, the snow numbing her feet while the skin under her nightgown tightens from the force of the blaze behind her. Terror trips her heart and her grip on what she carries becomes a vice._

 _She turns around when she gets to the clothesline at the edge of the yard, and looks numbly back at the house ablaze. Her home, her home, and where is her family? Stuck inside or safe outside? She can't see them anywhere, and she doesn't know what to do, what the rules are in this situation when the place where she learned rules in the first place is burning with a frightening chaos._

 _She clutches the thing in her hands to her chest and watches the fire burn, her feet and mind different kinds of numb. She watches as the fire slowly eats its way down the side of the house to the kitchen._

 _She gasps out a "_ no! _" in horror._

 _The fire eats the wall behind the gas tank used to fuel the kitchen's stove, many years past its inspection date._

 _There's a yell from the side of the house, and she turns to see her family safe and rounding the house towards her. Her eyes catch on her sister in particular, and she thinks for the thing in her hands,_ I have to keep this safe for her!

 _At that moment, just as the thought passes through her mind, there is a loud sound more pressure than noise and she is lifted off her feet in a flare of light. Her head connects with something solid and she lands with half her face in her snow and one eye is open but it doesn't close even though cold snow is scratching at it and the other gazes at the fire but she can't_

 _Even_

 _Think_

 _Anything_

 _All that passes through her head, stuck on repeat like a horribly scratched record:_ I have to keep this safe for her I have to keep this safe for her I have to keep this safe for her I have to keep this safe for her I have to keep this safe I have to keep this safe I have to keep this _—_

 _And the fire and the snow dims but the thought doesn't fade:_ I have to keep this safe for her.

* * *

She wakes up again, and this time she knows what sight will great her as she turns her gaze down to her hands, free of fleshy mess, holding her sister's laptop.

* * *

~~ Read on for Inomaru's first meeting with our Nagi-chan, the cutest of the bunch~~

"Ho, Sotaro!" Inomaru whips a chocolate bar as hard and as fast as he can at the nearest gate guard on duty.

"Ho!" The spiky brown haired man twists in his seat lightening fast and nabs it with his teeth. One of his elongated fangs breaks through the wrapper and he frowns around the candy bar at Inomaru.

Inomaru laughs so hard tears come to his eyes at the perplexed look being sent his way, and the scraggly three-legged dog next to Sotaro thumps his tail once on the ground and returns his head to his paws.

Sotaro spits the bar into his hand and begins unwrapping it, "Good morning, Inomaru-san."

"What, you're not going to lecture me or anything? Last time I learned so much about the problems with throwing things at your comrades' backs."

"Hey, if a perpetually benched chuunin wants to make it a habit to come around and throw me free food all the time, I'm not going to protest any. Though I do prefer last week's red bean bun to this. And no, throwing things at the back of your comrades' heads isn't any better."

"Ah, noted, next time I'll give you a red bean chocolate," Inomaru says, skipping over the comment about heads.

"Wait what? Someone actually makes that?" Sotaro sits up straighter in his chair.

Inomaru leans on a hip and taps his chin, "You know I made that up on the spot and I can't say I've seen that anywhere, but I'll make it if I have to. It weirdly seems like it would be good."

"Honestly, if it turns out well I'll pay you for the recipe."

The dog interrupts Inomaru's reply by standing up and barking once, facing the woods and path in front of the gate. Sotaro and the other guard on duty stand up at the alert.

Inomaru palms the one kunai he's currently allowed to carry around, bitter about the seal on his back that's sealing away most of his chakra.

A shaded cart pulled by oxen bursts into view, a man holding a bundle in the front seat whipping them on. The cart carries a couple other people, but they're mostly blocked from view by the cart's tarp. A mounted woman with a naginata defends the rear of the cart from bandits, some mounted and some not.

Inomaru scrambles out of the way for the cart, which barrels past him through the gate, "That's against the rules Inomaru-san! Can't let people in without checking their papers first!" Sotaro says as he launches himself at a bandit that's closely engaging the mounted woman, the three-legged dog at his heels.

"Yeah well I don't think they can punish me anymore, 'perpetually benched chuunin' that I am!" Inomaru follows Sotaro and the dog, the other guard jumping over the wall to spread the alert. And probably catch the cart and its passengers, but whatever, it's not Inomaru's job to watch the gate.

"Rabbit skin!" Sotaro yells a moment later, the code phrase that tells allies that the foe they're facing are shinobi in disguise.

"Tch." Inomaru's kunai gets deflected away and out of his hand by a kunai that suddenly appears in the hands of the bandit in front of him. He doesn't have a moment to spare to retrieve it as the man presses the attack, instead he switches to a game of "avoid the pointy and punch if there's an opening."

A flash of silver and the bandit's head is gone, the woman—probably a hired guard for the cart the bandits were chasing—continuing the motion to engage another bandit, this one also mounted, in one smooth circuit of her naginata.

Inomaru takes a moment to appreciate her ferocity before he goes over to retrieve his kunai. _Damn, if that lady stays for a while in Konoha I'll have to ask for a match._ Her movements with her naginata are perfect, without a wasted motion, and there are even some moves in there that he doesn't recognize.

* * *

 **I DID IT! At first when I was struggling to write I promised myself that I would try my best not to let an entire year to go by before I updated again, and I didn't! Tomorrow (August 16, 2019) is technically the one year date since I updated last but since I'm updating today it's! Not! Been! A year! I'm riding on technicalities but I'll take it! (PLUS I beat my sister's record of posted chapters, _take that_ sister!)**

 **Also, hello and thank you everyone that followed and/or favorited! Seeing the number of people interested in this story was really encouraging. T~T 3 Unfortunately, my last year of college happened and I feel/felt like a squash that's been cooked and hollowed out, so that I'm mostly just the leftover husk. It feels like it's taken something from me, and I'm still growing back. Special thanks and shoutout to Tonegawa Rie, thank you for your review! It really made me happy! I too wish there were more Shisui fics (my BOI) and that I would update faster. (hah!)**

 **If anything seems choppy first off I'm sorry, second please point out where exactly there's a problem and I'll try to fix it. I really tried to keep it a seamless chapter, but the beginning was written a month or so after the last chapter, and then the rest of it was written over the summer.**

 **I know Nagi talks kind of funny but there's a reason for it, I promise. When we get to a couple chapters from now we'll get to her backstory in the end-of-chapter snippets, which should give reason.**

 **Yes, Inomaru is lying through his teeth about a certain superior that would absolutely love to know about Muttsuri's previous life.**

 **AND AND AND what do you think about the thing that's in her hands? Did you expect it? Did it blindside you? Seem reasonable? Review and tell me your thoughts! This was originally supposed to be crack and it really didn't turn out that way (lul). I wanted to have a laptop and mess with people and play obnoxious songs at 3 am next to sleeping ninja, but then I got to thinking about how I would realistically (ignoring impossibilities that are obvious) get a laptop to Konoha that was still functional, and I always wanted to do a self-insert, and then one thing led to another and this is where I'm at.**


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